I started staring at the stars when I was five years old. Clouds then were always smiling and engaging me to join their dance rituals in blue-sky. I saw a woman holding an ube ice cream whilst the birds are busy chirping at the busy universe. One thing I’ve realized while typing this entry is the fact that I might lose my sanity in the following days. Ahh, I remember the day I saw a crow, I was holding my Manual SLR camera.. one, two, three… click. That was the first time I ever saw a crow. In fact, it is one of my wildest dreams to see a crow. Alas, I shook my hands at the luxurious neon lights. Sorrows, lost dreams, insanity… this is what we call life. One morning when I was seven years old, I asked the question that a seven year old kid can’t ask… “why is it so difficult to live and be happy?” That night, my mom from a very busy day bought a gallon of ube ice cream. Oh, how I love ube ice cream! Three years later I would examine my penis in front of the mirror, touch my lips and close my eyes. Oh, oh, oh… my orgasm is dripping on the carpet. Our maid might punish me for untidying the carpet. Looking back at the tapestry of long-lost memories is a breeze. I was chastised one night at that place. I didn’t know what to do, I thought I came to the point of everlasting fulfillment.. the bliss, the utopia. Shits are all over the place. I lick each one of the shits. That was the sweetest dinner ever. Two minutes before the clock alarms to 12. Still a struggling writer and artist. Watching all the passions dying, digging the grave for the burial of guns and roses and dreams. Apropos, do I really need to know the essence. Soul is aching, mouth is saying words without words. Words with letters but letters without letters. This is really a very mad world. Busy streets, sleep talks. I’m tired.

~ by jombitsky on October 21, 2009.