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thirty five minutes before 12 o’clock, i can hear the ticktock of the clock’s finger from where i am sitting. tick tock tock tick tick tock. i’ve been itching to update this blog since last month but i always ended up a loser, meaning creative amnesia, if there is such a term, succumbs me every now and then. oh, just like now. i have a lot of kwentos and rants to share but i don’t find the right words to describe them. i find writing difficult. aaaaaack. the paradox of me writing journalistic scripts every week for a mainstream investigative show on tv. anyway, if my sister is not beside me watching die another day on hbo, i can cry buckets now. why? i don’t know. it’s just one of those melancholy nights. again. dap dap dap. and yeah, it’s christmas time! everyone is posting a holiday greeting on facebook and twitter but seriously i don’t focking care. as in really. as in fucking really. christmas is not for everyone. oh, yes, yes, yes, it is the loser of me again hating christmas and this world, but who wouldn’t hate this goddamn world that always puts me on the bad light. aaaack. enough of these senseless musings and hatred. i should get my phone now and check if that person finally realize that someone is waiting for the tantanan, precious text message. i shouldn’t be a cry baby now. i have moved on, right? pakyu, homers of this world! you guys should go to hell. homers always break my delicate heart. anyway, let’s set aside this detritus lost love and nostalgia to give way to that thong that made me feel like crazy for a month now. as adele said, should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements? i meant, should i resign from my work, bitch. i can give you a five-page essay on why i should leave this job now, MLA with Marxist framework, i can use derrida-esque or foucauldian analysis if you want plus pasley’s social sciences terminologies. but oh, oh, oh, you cosmos are breaking my heart. i should do what i want to do in this fucking life. i should get up now and do the things that will make me a better person. i am so sick and tired of stooping down to the level of those unethical, monstrous, and stupid people. in the light of my senescence, i should leave now! or else, i’ll just kill myself!

~ by jombitsky on December 24, 2011.